Have you had a gutful of life?
If so, why not do something about it! No, we're not talking about boring, old-fashioned suicide - we're talking CRYONICS!
That's right! We now have the technology
to put you in "deep freeze" for as long as you like.
Just think about it for a moment...you leave behind all your worries,
bad debts and that battleaxe of a mother-in-law...ahh...and wake up
refreshed to find a brave new world of medical marvels and incredible
technological advances.
It's no longer science fiction, it's a fact, and it's available to you today at a crazy introductory price at The Cryonic Warehouse!
Economy: Ideal for the average time-traveller on a limited budget. Form long-term friendships as you sail into the future in a shared tank. Please book early to ensure a window seat.
Business: Very popular with corporate executives on the run. The recent high-tech crash has created an unprecedented demand for this service. All the comfort and legroom you're used to, plus that all-important anonymity.
First Class: No expense spared with this deal. Only the best cryoprotectants are served, carefully prepared by our cordon bleu scientists. Hob-nob into tomorrow alongside rock stars, politicians, and royalty.
What will life be like in the future?
In a word FAN-bloody-TASTIC!
All you have to do is invest wisely before you go, and, thanks to the
magic of compound interest, you'll arrive at the other end richer than
your wildest dreams (unless, of course, you're an Enron exec.).
If you absolutely insist on working in the future, you can always become
an historian (who better to ramble on about the bad old days?).
Some of those who have signed up may, or may not, include the following familiar faces:
So, what are you waiting for?
Settle your affairs today, tell all those people what you really think about them, and join us for the best night's sleep you'll ever have!